Gain The Tools to Create Family Relationships and Healing Rooted In The Principles of Godly Love

Most of us have a difficult family member. Sometimes they’re hard to love because they are constantly turning your well-intentioned good deeds into something else, or because they’re pushing against you. Sometimes they’re difficult to love because they’ve hurt you so deeply.

Beloved, there is a way to love your family even when they’re being difficult.

Imagine Jesus loving AND forgiving the crowds that were shouting “CRUCIFY HIM!” Imagine Jesus dying on the cross for the sins of those people who had just pierced His hands and feet with nails! He did! It is through the cross of Jesus that we too can find the freedom to love others when they’re being difficult, or when it’s difficult for us to love them.

Here’s one of the most famous biblical passages on love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ^ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Cor 13:4-7)

This passage is more than just beautiful words we usually read at weddings. The apostle Paul was writing this to the church in Corinth, a church deeply divided by politics, theology, and social class. They were constantly fighting, and were more worried about who was better or more spiritual than about loving one another.

Does that sound like your family?

Paul was trying to teach the Christians in Corinth how to love one another. This was probably something they thought they already knew. What they didn’t understand was that God calls us to look on each other and love one another through Jesus. He knows that we can’t love each other in our own strength.

Why? Because He knows your difficult family member, He knows your hard to love family member, He knows your hurtful family member and He knows you too. God isn’t asking you to love your difficult family member with your own strength, your own heart, or your own understanding—because you can’t. He’s asking you to love them with the same Love that Christ has shown you. That even when you have been at your worst, Yet god Still Loves You. Use the memory of God's unfailing love for you as the strength to love your family.

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Scripture for Meditation

1 John 4:7-8 (KJV) — "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." When you struggle to love that difficult family member, remember that love itself is not your invention—it flows from the very nature of God. Your capacity to love, even when it costs you, is evidence that the Spirit of God lives within you.

Colossians 3:12-13 (NKJV) — "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do." Paul is calling you to remember that you have been forgiven at infinite cost—the blood of Jesus Christ. That same grace is the foundation from which you forgive and bear with those who wound you.

Matthew 5:44 (KJV) — "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." Jesus is not asking for surface politeness; He's calling you to genuine intercession, to stand in the gap through prayer for those who hurt you. This is the radical, revolutionary love that transforms both the giver and the receiver.

Walking It Out

Identify one specific grievance you're holding against that difficult family member. Write it down. Now, in prayer, consciously release it to Jesus. Speak it aloud: "I lay this at the foot of the cross. I choose to forgive as Christ forgave me." This is not denial—it's a deliberate surrender to healing.

Pray for them by name for the next seven days. Not prayers asking God to change them, but prayers for their wholeness, their peace, their salvation. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what pain or brokenness might be driving their difficult behavior. Compassion is born from understanding.

Take one loving action that costs you something—time, energy, or pride. Send a text. Make a call. Show up. Not because they deserve it, but because Christ lives in you and His love compels you forward. Let that action be a declaration that their behavior no longer defines the boundaries of your faithfulness.

A Prayer for You

Father God, I come before You today with a heart heavy with hurt and frustration. I acknowledge that loving this family member in my life feels impossible in my own strength, but You have never asked me to do anything You would not empower me to do. Give me the grace of Jesus Christ—that same grace that poured out forgiveness even as the nails pierced His hands. Help me to see this difficult person not through the lens of their wounds to me, but through the lens of Your mercy. Transform my heart so that I might be a vessel of healing in this family, breaking cycles of bitterness and building bridges of reconciliation. In Jesus' name, Amen.

About the Author

Rev. Nicholas S. Richards is an ordained minister, author of Destiny DNA, and founder of ROHO. For over 11 years, he has written more than 6,000 daily devotionals reaching believers worldwide. Learn more about Rev. Richards.